Sept 26 2011
Today was a crazy day, It started off with my most favourite part of being pregnant ..... the first prenatal check up... I have to say I was looking forward to it , so far I just feel sick and fat , but the whole we are having a baby has still not really sunk into my head.. but let me tell you all that changed today ,All it took was putting my feet in the stirrups and whoosh .... all those memories came flooding back and I was SCARED out of my mind .. I don't know if I'm ready to have pain again and push something out .. the up side I have 6 months to get prepared! I figure your first you have no idea what to expect, your excited nervous and ready to take on anything ... your second ... you just remember the excitement of having a new baby of your very own that you forget the pain... the third I REMEMBER EVERYTHING ...and the only things that stands out is the pain and after math and it scares the crap out of me!
anyways back to the apt... I'm still not to sure when I'm due we won;t know until a ultrasound seeing I have no idea when my last period was ... but if we go by my guess its April 8th... the Dr thinks differently though. I also heard the heartbeat .. after searching for a long time for it , I heard a faint little sound... what an amazing feeling , I think it was then I thought holy crap there is something actually in that fat belly... it was 140 which is what both my boys were so for those who goes with all the wise tails I will let you take it for what it is....
Later that day I got a phone call from my best friend telling me she had her baby 18 days early ... wow... so I grabbed my stuff and took off to the hospital to see him.. now if my apt was not enough to get me thinking about this pregnancy then a hospital visit sure did.. the same day I had my apt and heard the heartbeat I walked through the doors of the maternity wing and watched all these new baby's get wheeled into there rooms, My emotions went wild as I started to think about Grayson and how I felt, I was just in here with him, was I not?
Watching Jen and Matt being first time parents and the excitement of having there very own brought back so many memories. Listening to Jen tell her birth story and watching her go through the pain of the aftermath and experiencing all the "first" got me excited to have this baby, and then of course when I got to hold her tiny little baby boy ( which by the way his name is Spencer) I found myself forgetting about all the scary things about being pregnant and "having the baby" and could all of a sudden only remember the amazing parts... how close you feel as a family with a new baby in your house, the peace a new baby brings into your home ( it kinda feels like heaven on earth , even with the screaming ) and the special bond you have with that little baby.... I can now say Im starting to look forward to hearing more of this little thing growing inside me , and even more excited to see a picture!